Theologisms you probably wouldn't embroider on a pillow

Or, maybe you would, because Christianity is a lot weirder than the inspirational signs at Hobby Lobby would suggest

Gentle reader,

Maybe you’re looking for a little more punch for your inspirational signs and posters than you can get from, say, “#blessed.”

Or maybe not.

Today is just for fun.

Alice Maywood Sampler, Conner Prairie, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Let’s start with Sweet Jesus. Words for a sky banner?

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Matthew 10:34

Here’s some Martin Luther, expressing the beautiful conviction that we can’t do anything to save ourselves. I’d like to keep this pillow in my office.

“All our good works are mortal sins” Martin Luther

Some John Calvin, who, I regret to report, was rather into burning people. Posted as a yard sign, this may keep solicitors away.

“Whoever shall now contend that it is unjust to put heretics and blasphemers to death will knowingly and willingly incur their very guilt.” John Calvin

A famous one, from Augustine, who was very aware of what was holding him back from submitting to Jesus. Nice on a pillow for the bedroom.

“Give me chastity and continence only not yet.” Augustine of Hippo

Teresa of Avila, recounting her experience of the mystical presence of God. I feel like I could wear this t-shirt while teaching.

“In [the angel’s] hands I saw a long golden spear and at the end of the iron tip I seemed to see a point of fire. With this he seemed to pierce my heart several times so that it penetrated to my entrails. When he drew it out, I thought he was drawing them out with it and he left me completely afire with a great love for God.” Teresa of Avila

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Augustine again, contemplating the wonders of the human body as created by God. Hang this in your tween son’s bedroom.

“Some have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at pleasure, so as to produce the effect of singing.” Augustine

As the story goes, after a vision of God, Thomas Aquinas compared his great works to so much straw. Maybe this is better for the office than the Luther pillow?

“I can write no more. All that I have written seems like straw.” Aquinas

Usually edited out of your edition of Revelations of Divine Love, Julian of Norwich on God’s care for the most “humble” bodily functions. This one is particularly nice for hanging up in the bathroom, instead of a sign that says “wash your hands.”

“A man walks upright, and the food in his body is shut in as if in a well-made purse. When the time of his necessity comes, the purse is opened and then shut again, in most seemly fashion. And it is God who does this, as it is shown when he says that he comes down to us in our humblest needs. For he does not despise what he has made.” Julian of Norwich

John Wesley was hardcore about the use of money, insisting that anything we kept for ourselves was stolen from the poor. This sign has limited use. Perhaps it could go up in a bank?

“What do all thy riches profit thee? Will they purchase a pillow for thy head, in the lake of fire burning with brimstone?” John Wesley

Phoebe Palmer, bringing it, gives us an image for the church I haven’t seen elsewhere. Printed on a plastic tombstone, perhaps this could be a Halloween decoration.

“The church in many places is a sort of potter’s field, where the gifts of woman, as so many strangers, are buried.” Phoebe Palmer

Some words from Jesus, nice for a mother’s day card.

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26

Finally, some advice from Catherine of Siena, on being Christ’s bride and receiving a fleshy wedding ring. This sign is appropriate anywhere.

“Bathe in the blood of Christ crucified. See that you don't look for or want anything but the crucified, as a true bride ransomed by the blood of Christ crucified – for that is my wish. You see very well that you are a bride and that he has espoused you – you and everyone else – and not with a ring of silver but with a ring of his own flesh. Look at the tender little child who on the eighth day, when he was circumcised, gave up just so much flesh as to make a tiny circlet of a ring!” Catherine of Siena

Grace & peace,

BFJ

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