Healing after purity culture, an author interview
Camden Morgante talks with us about her book *Recovering from Purity Culture: Dismantle the Myths, Reject Shame-Based Sexuality, and Move Forward in Your Faith*
Fellow Pilgrims,
I got to talk with Camden Morgante about her new book Recovering from Purity Culture.
Today’s post is an interview with Camden Morgante about
Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist who owns a private therapy practice. She is a writer, speaker, and coach on purity culture recovery, egalitarianism, and faith reconstruction. She lives in Knoxville, Tennessee with her husband and their daughter and son. Learn more about Camden on her website.
LAST CHANCE to join my class in developing as a faithful writer — happening this Wednesday!!!
The interview:
Beth Felker Jones: That rose on the cover is a powerful image. Tell us about it?
Camden Morgante: Thank you. I knew I wanted roses on the cover because the book opens with a well-known sermon I’ll call, “Jesus wants the rose!” It’s a play on the purity culture object lessons that compare you to a damaged, wilting rose, a cup of water with spit in it, chewed gum, and many other illustrations, if you have premarital sex. It’s subverting that myth. And I wanted two roses–one wilting and one in a pristine state to represent, “this is what purity culture told you you are. And here is what Jesus sees when he looks at you.” He doesn’t see a ruined rose. He sees his beloved image-bearer.
BFJ: Amen. Why did you write RPC?
CM: The main message of the book is you can heal from purity culture and hold onto your faith. I felt I had something unique to offer through both my personal experience growing up in purity culture, deconstructing my faith, and remaining a Christian, and my professional expertise as a psychologist. Many of purity culture’s loudest critics have left the faith, and I didn’t see my journey reflected in their stories. Or, there are still books that reinforce the gender stereotypes, legalism, or shame of purity culture. I wanted to provide the middle path: the both/and of finding freedom from toxic beliefs while keeping your faith.
BFJ: Give us the short version: what’s the book about?
CM: It’s the how–how to heal from purity culture. How to rebuild your faith and sexuality, how to integrate your mind and body, and even how to reconstruct your sexual ethic, without being prescriptive. Now that you know what the problems with purity culture are, here’s how to find a path forward.
BFJ: Did you read purity books when you were growing up or when you were parenting? Did your parents? How did that go?
CM: I read them all! My parents gave me a Focus on the Family book to teach me about sex and sent me away to read it, telling me to let them know if I had any questions. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t! I had a True Love Waits ring, took a pledge, made a “shopping list” of qualities for my future husband, and sincerely believed in the messages and promises of purity culture. It was only later as a young adult that I saw them as myths and false promises. I recognized in myself and my clients and friends the harm that these messages had.
BFJ: What do people mistakenly assume when they hear about your book?
CM: I think one assumption is that you can’t heal from purity culture and hold onto a sexual ethic of sex within marriage. I’m honest that I still do hold that belief—and I don’t think it’s the belief itself that is harmful. Yet another assumption is that because I hold that value, my book must argue for this and that’s also not true. We worked really hard to walk the middle path of being clear about where I was coming from while also respecting other points of view. Early readers and reviews of the book mention that even if you don’t agree with me on everything, you can still benefit from this book. And that it was refreshing to read a book that empowers and equips you to figure out your beliefs without prescribing them. I felt readers didn’t need one more book to tell them what to think or do—we got enough of that with purity culture books!—but really needed tools to figure it out themselves.
Dr. Camden Morgante
BFJ: Are there difficulties in the spiritual life that your book can help to address?
CM: One of the main areas affected by purity culture is faith (the others are sexuality and relationships). For me, this was the main way I was affected by purity culture. It led to my faith deconstruction when I realized the promises of purity culture (stay pure and God will give you a fairy-tale marriage) did not come true in the timeline I expected. The book normalizes deconstruction as a healthy part of spiritual development and one that can lead to a more robust and complex faith that makes room for doubt and questions instead of certainty. The chapter on healing your faith in particular addresses the disillusionment many of us feel with the Church and our faith and how to heal from that and rebuild.
BFJ: If you could gift everyone with one insight from the book, what would it be?
CM: Healing is possible and Jesus can be a partner to you on this journey. He wants you to be set free from these lies. He is right there with you as you tear up and deconstruct the toxic beliefs and cultures you were handed. He wants you to discover the truth and live a life of freedom and healing in relationship with Him.
BFJ: Amen again. This interview is especially fun because, in RPC, you interact with my book, Faithful. Can you tell us about that?
CM: Yes, I benefited so much from your book! Because I am not a theologian and my book was not meant to be a theology of sexuality or argue for a particular sexual ethic, I leaned on your work and quoted you: that “chastity through either abstinence in singleness or fidelity in marriage are two ways that Christians express the faithfulness of God.” To me, that provides the deeper why for my sexual ethic. I steward my sexuality and practice the virtue of chastity through premarital abstinence and faithfulness in my marriage. And in this spiritual discipline of chastity, we are testaments to the faithfulness of God and his unbreaking covenant with us. It was refreshing to read a theology book that addresses consent, embodiment, and singleness, and comes from an egalitarian perspective. Thank you for your work!
BFJ: Thank you! What would your 10-year-old self say if she learned you’d grow up to write about this stuff?
CM: Wow, this is not the book my 10-year-old self would have expected me to write! Of course she didn’t even know what sex was! Not even my 20-year-old self would have expected this, because I was very steeped in purity culture then. This is a book I couldn’t have written if I hadn’t gone through some of the painful things I share about in the book—a devastating break-up, a faith deconstruction, an embrace of egalitarianism and leaving complementarian spaces. If my 10-year-old self knew I wrote a book to try to help people who are hurting stay close to Jesus, I think that would make her proud.
BFJ: Besides your book, what are your top reading recommendations for folks who want to think more deeply about these matters? Why do you recommend them?
CM: I always recommend The Great Sex Rescue, which I quote a lot in my book. Sheila Gregoire’s research has been groundbreaking for understanding how these teachings are correlated with all kinds of sexual problems for Christians. When Religion Hurts You by Dr. Laura Anderson is the most accessible read on religious trauma from a therapist and survivor herself. Non-Toxic Masculinity by Zachary Wagner is my top recommendation for men. I love the works of Aundi Kolber and Dr. Hillary McBride on trauma, embodiment, and mind-body healing. And of course, Faithful is my go-to for a robust book on the theology of sexuality.
Don’t miss Camden’s Substack,
.Many thanks to Camden for sharing with us! You can buy the book here.
Grace & peace,
BFJ
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