Gentle reader,
One of the most radical moments in scripture is when Jesus says this:
. . . I have called you friends . . . (John 15:15).
It’s a mark of theological genius to know exactly why one shouldn’t do something and then to do it anyway, all without violating the very good reasons against doing so. That’s what Jesus is doing here.
He knows we would assume that our relationship with him, as our Lord, should be that of servants, but he undoes that by uniting us to himself and so to the Father, in the Spirit.
He offers us the mutuality of friendship.
Friendship is always radical. Friendship with the God of the universe is beyond radical. It’s sheer miracle.
Let’s look at Jesus’s words in their context:
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing, but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me, but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another. (John 15:12-17).
Friendship is not just a theory; it’s a practice. Friends love. Friends do right by their friends, and our friend Jesus asks us to bear fruit, in him, as those who have come to truly know the Father.
How we long for friendship. We long to know and be known, to be in relationship with those we can rely on. We long to love and be loved.
In this digital collage, I’ve loaded the table for Jesus and his besties, Mary and Martha, with an American Thanksgiving dinner, plus a few nontraditional items from my kiddos’ Friendsgiving menus.
My kids have been celebrating Friendsgiving with their groups of people. One made mini pumpkin pies to take to her dinner. Another did a big double batch of macaroni and cheese.
I’m so grateful that they have their friends.
I love that the celebration of “Friendsgiving” has been been gaining steady ground. We need friends. Most of us could stand to de-center the nuclear family and open up doors to more friends.
Jesus had disciples, but he also had friends, and I’m always intrigued when the New Testament describes his relationships this way. Consider Jesus’s friends from Bethany—Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Mary, Martha, and their brother are identified by Jesus’s love for them. The Son, in whom the Father delights in the Spirit, similarly delights in these, his friends.
(Here, we have a definitive answer to the question, can men and women be friends? Jesus says yes.)
Scripture elevates friendship, making friendship into a deep theological category.
What a friend we have in Jesus!
Happy Friendsgiving!
Grace & peace,
BFJ
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Happy Friendsgiving, my friend!